Letting Yesterday Get In The Way Of Today

If any of the characters in the show Ted Lasso were to take this class and learn about appraisal theories of emotion, I would not blame them for initially doubting the existence of Ted’s appraisal process and concluding that, regardless of the situation, Ted is biologically inclined to react with positivity. As I mentioned in my previous post, Ted’s ex-wife even cites this compulsive optimism and positive energy among the primary reasons for needing space and eventually asking for a divorce.

Though, as the show progresses, it becomes clear that Ted’s seemingly automatic emotional reactions of joy, interest, and hope are calculated, and that Ted is, in fact, quite capable of experiencing and reacting to negative emotions. Assumedly due to the stress of being separated from his son and after begrudgingly finalizing the divorce with his ex-wife, Ted begins to experience panic attacks when reminded of his family. This reaction is, of course, understandable; however, Ted’s onset of panic attacks points to the relevance and significance of subjective appraisals in the experience of emotions. Ted’s primary and secondary appraisals of the situation moved from non-threatening and controllable (e.g., working out his relationship with Michelle, remaining close with Henry) to highly threatening and uncontrollable (e.g., Michelle divorcing him, potential new father figure for Henry). In turn, thoughts about his family began to induce experiences of severe anxiety and fear rather than comfort and hope.

Michelle and Henry later travel to visit Ted in England, and Michelle brings her then-long-term boyfriend, who also happened to be Ted and Michelle’s marriage counselor prior to their divorce. Although Ted automatically displays his typical positive affect and demeanor, when Michelle lets Ted know that her boyfriend is taking her on a trip to Paris, Ted’s thoughts and resulting emotions begin to spiral. He becomes convinced that Michelle’s boyfriend is going to propose to her in Paris, and that he will lose Michelle and, most importantly, Henry for good. Despite the assurances from his friends that the Paris trip most likely means nothing and that he should enjoy the time he now has with his son, Ted’s subjective appraisal of the situation as a significant threat cannot be dissuaded. His panic, anger, and paranoia led him to desperately ask his boss to hire a private investigator and follow Michelle to Paris. Luckily, Michelle returned without a new ring on her finger and Henry pointedly ignored Michelle’s boyfriend’s greetings. Upon a re-reappraisal of the situation as non-threatening and a visit with the team sport psychologist, Ted’s panic attacks subsided and he merely had to deal with the embarrassment of letting his appraisals get the best of him.

Although I touched on it briefly, I could not figure out how to discuss Ted’s proclivity to engage in what some might consider “toxic positivity” in this post, but I hope to address this phenomenon more comprehensively in coming blog posts. Until then, thank you for reading!